Is it Saturday?
I’m once again sunk in bed with a Sinus Infection.
This time, no Prescription due to no Insurance.
I’m hoping the few I have left from the last round will be sufficient enough to get me back up.
I’m also overly tired. In the sense it’s unusual.
Yes, I didn’t sleep the greatest this past Work week, but that is not a new concept to my body *(or mind).
With a splash of water and Silk Vanilla Almond Milk Creamer.
Coffee is a Sinus Infection’s Nightmare, but I’m so tired, I need to snap it up and open my body and mind.
I only have one errand to run today and my usual Therapy Session at Noon, but my eyes are closing to erase the things I have to do.
I am Sad.
Sunday, is my Mother’s Birthday.
I wanted to take the Train, but the Tickets were too expensive *(My second Pay from my new Job was incorrect again).
I thought about driving to see her.
I now drive 82+ Miles M-F.
Why couldn’t I make the 111 Mile(one-way)/ 1 Hour 41 Min. Trip?
I haven’t driven a distance in that capacity since early March 2015.
I also haven’t been able to purchase anything for her Birthday either.
For the first time in my Adult Life, I actually do not know what she wants/needs.
I mean, I had not been to my Parents House in 14 Months, and prior to that, it was rarely a short visit Post-Dysautonomia.
I never felt Welcomed.
Two, they made me feel unwelcome, a burden.
They stopped driving to my old Duplex after March 2015.
So, how would or should I feel?
This carousel of emotions is making my stomach churn.
Or, that could be the Infection, Coffee, Dysautonomia.
But, I truly wanted to visit her.
Last year I’m unsure of her Birthday Plans were due to the fact I was relocating/moving in 10 Days after, but the year before, I believe I drove to my Parents House. *In 2015, I couldn’t drive period, so my Father came to pick me up.
Prior to March 2015, I always took her out for her Birthday *(When Schedules collided).
Pedicure, Shopping, Dinner.
Or She would come over for a fabulous meal, gifts, rented movie *(With my Father).
Now, I’m stuck.
I don’t feel well. Really sinking from another Sinus Infection, unusually exhausted, and how am I going to get there?
Plus, no Presents.
So, another Saturday alone?
Laundry, Cleaning, Errands.
This is my life now.
And it’s blue.