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Home Sweet Home

Month 9.

I awoke today at 4:58 ante meridiem to an aching Bladder and Sinuses that are making me feel as if I’m on the Tilt-a-whirl.

My Mind has now adjusted to my new Work Schedule, so like Clock Work, I open my eyes in darkness. *It’s not the first time I’ve been awake, preparing myself for my day when the World is still asleep.

But, nine months.

I paid my Rent for the first time with my paycheck from my current Job.

The mass decrease in finances is beyond a burden, but I have to, I will make it work.

I actually taught 10.88 Hours yesterday.

They needed me due to low Staff count, and I managed to pull through the other side from 6:30a.m-6:09p.m. *We have a Time Log System, so that’s why the clock accuracy.

I actually ran an errand after and made it home and did not lay down to rest my body until 7:46p.m.

But, I was restless. I could not calm my Mind. *I have not been using Guided Meditation as much due to my current Schedule and my mourning for my Cat.

So, I decided that I would enjoy an hour on the Screened Porch with left over Tea Candles from Halloween, cold bottles, and my two Cats.

The weather was still bearable for a night of watching people pass and thinking.

I did make it the hour, and decided to stay awake and watch a Film, Prozac Nation.

I have viewed it many many times before *since 2005/2006, but again was restless.

I didn’t finish the Film, instead jumping around on my Roku to my go-to Television Show (which has now been re-booted).

I am not sure what hour dragged my exhausted bones to bed, but I am tired.

I’m preparing for another Weekend alone. With two quick Grocery runs and catching up with major house cleaning.

A Co-Worker yesterday filled me in that we are “Work Friends.” I was in hope that I found someone in this town(s), but to my dismay,


I look at my reflection now *when I’m getting ready for Work, and I see someone I don’t recognize.

Maybe it’s the last 5.5 Months of everything that has occurred.

Maybe, it’s my Health

Maybe, it’s my loneliness.

Time is moving without me and I don’t understand why.

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