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Family Consolation

Month 8.

I just realized I am 8 Days behind on my monthly Chapter.

I’m currently in bed beyond what someone could label sick *(Sinus And Ear Infection again).

It took 3 hours just to move to start my Medication again (Last night).

But, something else is going on.

I’ve had Tachycardia for 72 Hours now (very dangerous for someone like myself) and This Sinus/Ear Infection hit me like a wall around 7:00 post meridiem yesterday.

I woke yesterday morning, sick to my stomach. Took Ginger and an over-the-counter Medication.

I felt exhausted, but sick in a way that was alarming.

My Parents were supposed to come down (again).

We’ve been trying to make Plans since March 24, but Mother Nature decided to dump a blizzard where I live.

The following weekend, unfortunately, both my Parents were sick. *(I became sick later on the same day).

So, we planned for April 7.

Well, I had a week of hell at Work, was out on Thursday, received my Cat’s Ashes on Thursday evening, and Friday was a horrific day back at work.

My body cannot sustain much longer (physically), but I’m mentally a ghost.

So, return to yesterday morning. Was supposed to Educate (3 Classes), I could not (even Online).

My Disability was on fire and I just felt so beat-up, that I couldn’t.

I spoke with my Mother at 11:45 in sunlight, contemplating our Reschuduled Plans.

I was sad, angry that I was so consumed from the stress from my Job on Friday, and depleted by my Disability and Stomach Issues.

So, we spoke for 24 minutes, and I made the decision to weather my body’s storm and have then come and Visit *(It’s exactly 111 Miles between us).

They made it down about 2:45 post meridiem.

I had the Day Planned as I did on March 24.

But, tell me why, that particular Saturday I was feeling great. *(The day after my Cat passed away too).

So, I took them to the:

1. David Davidson Mansion Tour.

They actually really enjoyed it.

2. Picked Up Groceries I Had Ordered.

3. Then Took Them On A Tour Of The Town *(My Father was driving [a plus] and they have only been down here three times to visit [my Father Solo on 8/12/17 to help me unpack/put together my new place).

4. Then I surprised them with a Fancy Dinner (Grubhub) since it was after 6.

Then bam.

I feel like Death. Yes, my Disability is always at the starting gate, but my ears, sinuses, and body were in so much pain.

I was so depressed.

I just wanted to spend time with both of my Parents, whom I have not seen together since December 30, 2017.

I wanted to talk about my Job (I was able to tell my Mother over the morning conversation what had occurred on Friday), but I wanted to talk about my late Cat, their lives, catch-up as a Family does.(ESPECIALLY, after my tragic Birthday Weekend. Then I didn’t see them again for four months).

It shouldn’t have NEVER been like that. They are both sixty, working Full-Time(My Father still Manual Labor) and my Mother at a newer Employer that is stressful.

And Me.

Disabled.

No More Job/Income.

And now the Job I’m trying my best at is literally dismantling my Disability and Health.

So, the discussion was brought up again, that I most likely will have to return home.

Something I do not want.

But, what other options do I have?

After my Parents left,

I changed and listened to Guided Meditation while I was melting into my sheets.

I did not understand.

So, when I saw the Cellular Clock read 11, I forced every particle of myself to start my Second Round of Antibiotics *(That come with very unpleasant side effects).

I made it back into bed, opening my eyes at 2:20 ante meridiem and decided to crawl out of my shelter and take my other Medicaton and then a box of Orange Juice *(I bought a six pack when I began my new Job, knowing my Immune System would need Vitamin C).

Eyes opened again at 7:30 ante meridiem (I think once before, but I was so delirious), and again making my way to my Medication and Water with the very unpleasant side effects.

I have been awake since.

Tachycardia is one to blame.

I’m behind worrisome now.

I have to return to my Job tomorrow *(Schedule is day by day until Friday) and I literally do not know how I’m going to make it.

So, I’m going to rest my bones, my eyes, my mind.

I have my Clock set for Medication Times then prepare for the inevitable.

I am happy I did get to see/short visit with both of my Parents.

There’s been too much darkness in my Life and they have so much of their own afflictions, time is running out.


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