8:23 ante meridiem.
Like mental clock work.
Thunder collapsing all around me like I was in a white squall.
I couldn’t breathe, heart rate in Tachycardia.
Someone call for help.
I re-organize my sight. My mind is racing.
Tears flood the aging bed.
Drowning in stillness.
My Cat, gone
Why is this darkness, cloud following me, hurting me, ripping my life apart?
He was only 4.5 years old.
I only spent 7.5 Months with him before I became Disabled.
This August, would have been 4 years together.
My Shadow, My Soul, My Little Boy.
Remember, *I Had To Do This Eight Months Ago With My Dog. Let Him Go After 9 Years.
Yes, He’s Alive, But I Haven’t Received:
Now, my Cat passes away?
Well, in 5 Days, it’s three years.
Three year Anniversary of being Disabled.
And now, I have to Teach outside my house since I have no steady income, so I should be dead soon.
Maybe he knew.
All the terrible things, crumbling around us and me back in December making my way to stand on the Railroad Tracks.
Well, I have a week to wait
Wait for the Necropsy Results.
I have to call Cremation tomorrow.
My baby is sitting in a Veterinary Morgue, and I don’t know why.
When I was holding his body at the Emergency Clinic, He felt alive.
I kept whispering, Buddy, please
Please come back.
I wanted his spirit to know I was there, begging for him to come back.
He had a tear in one of his eyes.
I wiped it away and closed it.
Now, everymorning I wake up, the first thing I see is his body.
That’s where I found him.
Now, this room, this house will never be the same.