Sunday afternoon tears, black from yesterday’s noir mascara. As I recollect last evening and my destiny interrupted by failure, souls, lost forever.
I had a Date *(it was planned about 5 Days in-advanced) with someone actually well known in the Publishing World *(He’s a Journalist and a CEO).
He chose the Date, Time, and Location.
After Wednesday’s fiasco, I was hesitant, more reluctant to go through with the Date.
Saturday came, I taught two Classes, *(Reminded it was my last week [again] of steady hours), ran an errand, and then tried to rest and contemplate what I would wear on said Date, wondering if the person who attacked me on Wednesday was sorry, and texting someone new from the Social Site (which is done now too).
So, I attend the Date.
I was late. Remember, driving is very difficult for me let alone eating.
He didn’t mind I was late, but he had already ordered an adult beverage and was munching on Chips and a variety of Salsas.
We talked. A lot.
I played it safe. I ordered Ceviche (only able to eat about 4 or 5 bites, but I did take it to go).
The Date came to an end within an hour since he had just returned from a Trip and had to drive 30 minutes back.
I asked the inevitable question,
So do you want to do this again?
I sat there, shocked, more electrocuted.
He said he has a Dating Rule. He let me read it *(Remember, he’s a Journalist)
He has to be “Interested.”
And he was not Interested in me even though he text me everyday (photographs, pieces of his Articles, and a Video Clip). I even got “Good Morning” texts.
I was beyond confused, and hurt.
So, I asked why?
His reply: I don’t have an answer just like I can’t explain why when I am interested. I just know.
Not good enough.
So, I asked if it was because I was late (No), Do I not look like my photos (No).
He had no response.
He then said to me if I was offended.
But, I have never had a Man tell me he’s not “Interested” like this. Ever.
Then he goes on to explain that a first date to him is like an Interview.
I was done.
I wasted my time, my Health, driving for this?
I was furious (and still hurt).
After running another errand, coming home to three piles of Cat Puke, and so much Cleaning and Laundry, I started reflecting on me.
What has happened to me?
I was aces in the Dating World. Even if the Relationship was casual or short-term.
As I stated before, it’s like a curse. A dark, violent cloud over and in me since I became Disabled. I can not retain any kind of Relationship. Either Abandoned, Death, Belongs To Someone Else, Or Psychopaths.
I guess I’m meant to remain alone.