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Irrational Reality

Too early for twilight.

9:55 post meridiem.

Feeling a hazy cloud trying to smother my mind so it can sleep.

Anxiety.

I’m still Missing two Paychecks (that only equal $164.00), but I dangerously need the money.

Not only is my Health at risk, but now I can’t afford Litter for my two Cats.

No one cares enough to help, so in Disability, I have to figure out a way to survive.

What kind of being is this?

I just want my Medication to kick in, so I can drift away for 2 hours (like last night) then 3 more, only to wake sick to my stomach and functioning like a fucking zombie.

I have to be awake in the early a.m for a Sub. Class, then a Meeting, then to see my Doctor due to my continuously bleeding colon and now nasal cavity (and find my Chest X-Ray Results) then try to gather some sort of Assitance, then Teach again at 4:00p.m.

That means driving.

I drove today for thirty minutes, barely making it back.

Tomorrow is another thirty minutes, in addition to walking/standing.

I’m going to collapse again as I did x3 two nights back.

At least my used Book arrived (Amazon Credit), for my Special Day.

I’ll Scream Someday by Marlee Matlin.

The used Hardcover arrived yesterday, and I’ve already ready Nine Chapters.

So far, it’s a marvelous read. *(Shocking since I don’t do Autobiographies).

I read Seven Chapters straight last night, then two tonight *(I wasn’t feeling well).

I will definitely try to finish it this Weekend.

I hear Jimi Hendrix’s “The Wind Cries Mary.”

But, there is no music.

Maybe sleep is coming fast and I want it to stay. And when I open my eyes, I want my life back.


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