To keep my mind at ease while I’m sinking in the pain and stress upon me, I’ve been viewing a movie I like *(I’m a Film buff/snob).
The movie is titled Mermaids after the Book by Patty Dann.
I originally saw this movie in May 2000 when I was inpatient at the Hospital due to unknown reason(s) of organ(s) failure.
One afternoon, after lunch, a nice woman came into my private Hospital room with a VHS Cart. She asked of I would like to watch a movie, and in my weak state, I agreed. *(My Father was visiting, so my choice reflected his presence).
After reading the back of the aged vhs box, I chose Mermaids. *(I’m partial to anything Christina Ricci is in. It was her first movie role. She played Kate Flax).
I watched the movie (alongside my Father) and took to the Plot right away. The early 1960’s: Fashion, Gender Roles, Classic Cars, Era Of Time, Family Relationships.
On July 10, 2015, I found/ordered the DVD from Amazon. (It’s a ‘hard to find’ DVD, so that’s why the wait).
How Ironic, I had been Disabled for about four months when I purchased it.
I knew it would make me happy as it did 15 years prior.
I watched it a few times before I was forced to relocate this year.
Now, I’ve viewed it three times in a month. I know subconsciously, I’m looking for something, wishing.
My life is deleting and I do not understand these circumstances. I just want to Work/Teach, Pay Bills/Survive, Afford My Health Insurance/Disabled And Chronic Health Problems/New Health Problems, Keep My Cats/I Love More Everyday/Alone.
In the movie, ‘Change’ is a theme: Moving, Relationships, Era Of Time, An Accident.
How can I make it easier?
Like the movie.
I’m being erased above ground and I have to experience without help, watch it all disappear like Kate drowning.