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Deserved Soul

Good Morning Saturday.

The Wind has kept the House At 60° (as well as leaving the furnace on ‘off’ due to my Current Career situation). *My cough has returned most likely to sleeping in layers with no heat and the amount of stress laid upon me. I was supposed to have a Chest X-Ray, but have not due to Costs. (Checking.  Seems to be shifting).

Today’s Saturday:

Only educating for two hours.

Alone, Cold, Restless.

Nothing new but different.

Nothing New.  

I’m always alone on Saturdays.  I usually work 5 Hours then rest then clean.  It makes me miss my Dog.  

Before I became Disabled, Saturdays meant road trips, long walks, adventure. 

Just him and I. 

He was my Best Friend.  

I still have/had many (chronic) Health Issues, and the days that were long in pain and brought tears to my eyes, he would literally lick them away (I loved my Dog but that was the ONLY thing, never ever face touching. Not for me.  But, only when I cried).

Different.

My Best Friend And I Are No Longer Friends. Twelve Years Of Friendship Thrown Away In One Day (5 days ago).

But, this Friendship had been diminishing the day I moved here (She wanted me to move here. She looked at properties for me). 

Something I will never understand. *Or the few individuals aware of what occurred.

I remember when I was forced to leave my Residence of six years, she suggested “Why don’t you live here.  I can help you with Doctors Appointments.  Etc.”  

Within 30 Days, I had a place in motion, Signed-Lease, Moving Date.

Her and I were ecstatic.

I had not physicsally seem her in about a year.  And we both have similar pain in our lives that make our connection deeper.

Almost four months have past, and I’m in worse shape then before I moved here. (I had another place in a different city, closer to where I was, but, I moved here without ever imagining all of this happening i.e Job, Ex, Friendship, Health).
It’s sad hard on my Soul.

I like it here. I bought two new pieces of furniture (with lots of decorations).  

My Cats are happy.  They have more area to roam, play, be free (With a new CatLitter Penthouse, Toys, Scratch Boxes, and more Love).

I was getting to know the town(s) (since I educate until late nights, I had to use my GPS for almost three months to get anywhere). *Yes, I’m not supposed to drive, but my support system…you already know. 

Still Educating Seven Days A Week (for fifteen months straight), losing so much this past year, *losing everything when I became Disabled almost three years ago.  
But, kept going.  Working hard because I love what I do and to survive. 

Now.

I am facing having to move (financial), not working (with no given reason as to why), having to re-home my Cats (after giving away my Dog of nine years, almost five months ago), and losing a Best Friend when she was in the wrong (and walked away months prior).  All on-top of new Health Issues (And Old Health Issues).

I tried my best.  And I do not understand these circumstances nor deserve to be broken.


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