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The Persistence Of Loss

Is It Truly Four Weeks Since You’ve Been Gone?
How Could You Leave Me?

I Needed You Today.

I Had To Travel To Northshore This Ante Meridian.

You Knew How Much Sorrow That Brought My Soul.

You Were Aware Of The Burden I Carried Without Ever Asking Me.

You Knew Dysautonomia Has Ruined My Life.

Your Melancholy For My Pain Was Touching.

You’re Gone Now And I Carry The Burden.

Alone.
I Am Making The Decision To See You Tomorrow.   

Things Were Left Unsaid Between Us, Our Friendship, Feelings.  I Will Tell You Tomorrow What I Have Left Inside, The Memories, Then I Must Say Goodbye.  This Will Be My Only Visit. Ever.  The Way You Left Is Devastation.  Your Parents, Jr., Karina, And Most Importantly, Joshua, Are All In Permanent Mourning.  You Left So Many In Darkness.  I Weep For You, The Nights We Should Be Together.  Maybe It’s My Reality Shattered From Reasoning, My Own Remorse, Pain.  I Was Supposed To Have Died Eighteen Years Ago. But, It Would Become My Personal Hell Of Outliving Suicide.  I Was Seventeen.  Eighteenth Years Later And Three Attempts, You Commit Suicide.  Twenty Six Years Old And A Father.  My Remorse Is Dislocating.  I Have To Fade From You, But I Will Forever Miss You, And Always Love You.  Vaellaz, You Were My Best Friend, My Companion, My Light In My Destruction.  Come Home.

Te extraño.  Los días son difíciles, pensando en lo que has hecho.  Todas las personas dejaron atrás.  Tomaron tu ojos.  Esto es algo que no puedo vivir.  Usted debe estar aquí.  Descansa en paz. 


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