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The Lucid Appeal

Today, is Sylvia Plath’s Birthday.
*Saying Happy Birthday to the Dead is an oxymoron(especially if Suicide was the choice).

Alive. 81.
Death. 33.

Her daughter Frieda, has been alive almost twice as longer as her mother.

The Years. It makes you think, think about dreams. Time.

How we blink our souls and it’s decades ago.

I think. A story of reality and tragedy my (late) Uncle Karoly shared with my Mother then me.

New York.
Early 1990’s.
My (late) Uncle was living in Manhattan, and as everyday, he headed to the Subway for work
(He was a Writer/Editor for Time Life Magazine).
As he approached the concrete landing, voices were traveling fast. Eyes posted in a particular spot.
Blood.
Stalled trains.
Empty tracks.
Gone.
Another Soul given to Suicide.

My (late) Uncle said he had stumbled upon Subway death many times.
But, time went on and the years forgotten.

My question/inquiry/study/experience is this:
Is a person lucid when in flight?

As for Plath, her attempts by Pills left her alive. That’s why the gruesome tale of Carbon Monoxide Poisoning by the way of Suicide.

Was she lucid? Awake as she was dying?
Like the men in the Subway.
Were they aware of it all as a 220mph subway car was smashing their bodies into unidentified pieces?

My own experience was not as grotesque.
When I fell asleep, I told my soul, I would not wake up to the 5:45a.m alarm call.
That the 18 Pills I counted outloud and took one by one would silent my breath as my heart stopped and my life would end.
But, I woke up.
I used to think I had died, but I returned with a new Soul and purpose.
I was 17.

Then, I watched
Wrist Cutters, and my perspective on Suicide Lucidity changed into a semi-permanent season.
*I recommend this Film for anyone who has survived Suicide.

Sylvia Plath.
If she could come back, would she?

The reality of seeing the other side as the living could have given herself more time for self revision.

image

Anne Brigman
Dying Cedar


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