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The Dead End

I have come to an ancient appreciation.
No. A graceful answer.

As I let my feet tap to
‘The Principles Of Moments’
I think about Nik.
(I’ve written about him Once on my aged Tumblr Account, when he passed).

I see him.
His face. His smile.

The last time I was with him was
1998.

He was in and out of
Federal Prison most of his Adult Natural Life.
But, with me, he was kind Sicilian Gentleman.
His knife scarred face and prison charm NEVER scared me, even at 17.

Nik(Niccolo) would tell me he was the Dead(dealing drugs for the Serbian Mafia), and the Un Dead(coming back to life from a deep Heroin Addiction and Criminal Record).

I would speak in Italian and Silician to his
Grandmother(as she complained and denied her Grandson), a language he could not translate.
(He knew/understood more Croat/Serbian than his own blood),
but I knew he loved me from the day his Cadillac picked me up at my HighSchool Bustop.

”Mia Madre è venuta qui da Comunista Ungheria / Unione Sovietica per gli studi Universitari, e la Sua Famiglia ospitante era da Siracusa, in Sicilia, in Sicilia è nelle mie vene.”
(I was not positive if his Grandmother was part Calabrese due to her Dialect, so I spoke in Italian first).

She loved me.

Now, he’s passed.
*Dove mai si è Niccolo, spero che la tua anima è felice.
Si sarebbe fiero.
Divertente, dopo quindici anni, non riesco ancora a parlare Siciliano a voi, anche nella morte.

But, this isn’t about him.

This is about lost friendship, and the people behind those doors.

I ended a twenty year friendship a month ago today.
The death is livable, but the accusations are not.

Another is falling into a dead end.

I no longer care for it all.
Universally, my heart is just my own, emptied out long ago.

The feelings are of Freedom, not regret.
To be able to dissolve any or all attachments is on my Path to Truth.

There are days, hours inside when I never understand.
That’s my human nature.
I quiet those moments with the memories of disappointment, then I am right back on the road of One.

My Conclusion?
There is absolutely nothing impressive about Friendship, and that is the most valuable thing to own.

image

The Dead End will eventually crumble and blow away with the winds of yesterday.


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