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Chemo Therapy

Chlorambucil.
Also known as Leukeran.

I first experienced Chemotherapy in 2006. I began my Chemo Cycle late Spring until late Summer.
A Graduate Student, working a Manual Labor job (for $6.25 a hour), and barely breathing.
I was 25.

NO ONE was aware I was going through Chemo.
(I did not experience Alopecia in 2006, which helped secure my secret).

I felt if I disclosed my pain, nothing would change.
Not One person (other then Family), has cared for my health/illnesses/diseases.

Why start a new chapter then, or now?
Remission was delivered, and I continued dying and living the best ways I could.

In 2006, I had what is called
‘Classic Chemotherapy.’

”Traditional chemotherapeutic agents act by killing cells that divide rapidly, one of the main properties of most cancer cells. This means that chemotherapy also harms cells that divide rapidly under normal circumstances.”
http://www.wikipedia.org

Leukeran is a Cancer Drug from the 1950’s.
An ancient killer giving me live, a promise of one more tomorrow.
I’m not going to xerox my pain for you.
Inviting you inside my body while on Chemotherapy is a desolation you don’t want.

image

Seven years later.
Medical Additions.
Chemotherapy potential.

Concerns.
Hepatotoxicity.
Nephrotoxicity.
Ototoxicity.
Encephalopathy.

Limitations.
” Chemotherapy does not always work, and even when it is useful.”
My Hematology/Oncology Specialist.

Infertility.
Non issue since I had a
Total Abdominal Hysterectomy on
02/13/04.

My brain is tired.
Ripped at the genetic stitching.
My heart, gutted.
I am detached.
But, I will never surrender to the Death.

image

Chemotherapy.
It murders young blood.

“Are you hungry? Are you sick? Are you begging for a break?
Are you sweet? Are you fresh?
Are you strung up by the wrists? We want the young blood.
Are you fracturing? Are you torn at the seams? Would you do anything? Fleabitten motheaten? We suck young blood.
Won’t let the creeping ivyWon’t let the nervous bury me.
Our veins are thin
Our rivers poisoned.”
Radiohead


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