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After Shocks

Alive?

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This is me.
This is my body, my existence.

My #14 and #15 Surgeries ended this past Friday, but the report is useless compared to the complications.

”Oxygen level problematic before surgeries began.
Stopped breathing during second surgery.
Oxygen level weakened after surgeries.
Patient needs to see Hematologist asap for immediate MRI for her Sarcoidosis.”
Medical Report Friday, April 5, 2013
12:00p.m
*My lungs did not stretch until Saturday morning.

Today.
I circle my I’s and uncross my T’s so I can slide down to my finite.
I want revenge. Down with Genetics!!
I recognize, it all could be worse.

Tomorrow.
I return to my job as an
Adjunct ESL College Instructor.
Despair.
The job, not my recovery.

Reflection.
I’m going below, down.
My migration is persistent.
I cried to my Mother,
”Enough.”

*I experienced my first
Transradial Catheterization.
The Anesthesiologist asked me to remove my Contacts (I don’t wear contacts. That’s how ethnic I express to others).
As I was receiving the Transradial IV, all I could remember were my suicide ghosts, then I was out in the Science flatlands, sungazing.


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