Mood down after another wasted Wednesday.
Hung over from a lack of medication and cigarettes.
Confession: I plunged into smoking again. I am aware I should not be indulging in lining my body with poison(especially since my Sarcoidosis is in Remission), but the levels of burden are eroding my soul.
Virginia Slims was the trial decision this time.
I usually smoked Camel Lights, but I felt I was making a healthier choice for my sick body.
My relationship with Tobacco was born in 1993. I would walk the mile home from school with a fellow punk and cigarette in hand.
I was 13.
I considered myself one of
R.L Stine’s bad girls, but without the sex.
Smoking gave me power, until I discovered I was quite good at Sports.
I broke up with Tobacco in High School, only having a few brief affairs while I was a Double Science Major in Junior College.
I quit permanently in University, until October 31, 2003.
Ironic, it was the Camel that broke the relationship’s back.
Tobacco and I were never exclusive.
Alcohol interfered with our connection, as well as other vices which are no longer relevant in my closet of affliction.
Now, I suffer only from massive Sinus Pain and Chest Pressure.
Why would I oppress my body, specifically when my health has and always will be a physical depression?
I have not conquered that separation between a miserable body and my carnal choices.